I am feeling quite down. Yes, I'm letting go, but it's really hard to not grieve over it. It feels like nobody can really understand, sigh. Saw zh and bunch today, remembered that A told me that she's having lunch with a group as well, so I pretended that I didn't see them. However, the queue at the pavilion was too long so I decided to leave, but zh and dk caught me. Dk wanted me to join them for lunch, I saw A's bag on one of the chairs there (shes probably buying food downstairs), didn't feel like joining them and facing her, it'll just make me even sadder, so I told dk that it's ok i'm going home, i wonder if he could tell that I wasn't alright at all. I walked down and saw A and J queueing up for salad, I hurried past them, didn't really want them to see me. Sigh. On my way down, I think I sorta teared a bit at the thought of her still being surrounded by so many friends in the same course and I don't really have anyone around me now, nobody understands anw. Can one really let go of a rls that quickly? Zero feelings now? sigh, letting go is harder than i thought it was. Has she ever loved me before? Or am I only the man who loves her?